Boy Wonder I Love You

 

Previously: Pimp Your Crosley!

Not long into our marriage it became clear that Connie and I had divergent tastes in music.  She had been a teenager during the 1970s while I grew up in the '50s and '60s which, in addition to being The Best Time Ever to grow up listening to top 40 radio, also carried the distinction of being the golden age of novelty songs.  Included in the novelty genre was that sub-genre known as "celebrity records," where virtually any movie or TV star of the time was herded into a recording studio to cash in on their fame by cutting an album. 

A good many of these records were, to be kind, not very good, and many fell into the so-bad-it's-good category.  I brought my bad celebrity records into our marriage and played them all the time, which prompted Connie to say to me: "If there's any record anywhere that everybody else in the world can't stand, I can be sure that's a record you love."

I couldn't argue with that assessment.  Still, I may have discovered the one celebrity record even I have no desire to hear a second time.  Not to take anything away from William Shatner, whose 1967 debut album was listed by Rolling Stone magazine as "perhaps the most mocked album in the history of music." At least Shatner knew he couldn't sing.  So instead of singing, he opted to "act" the songs he recorded on his album.  The result were songs that were unintentionally funny due to Shatner's overly dramatic interpretations. 

Not so with Burt Ward.  TV's Robin the Boy Wonder was completly tone deaf, yet he still thought he his voice was good enough to launch a hit record.  Here he is singing the Nat King Cole hit "Orange Colored Sky."  Take a listen:

That was side B, and yes, it was produced by Frank Zappa, who did the best he could considering what he had to work with.  This song was just too awful to release, but awhile later Zappa was also enlisted to produce a song that would require Burt Ward to do no singing at all.  What Burt did instead was read excerpts of fan letters from some of his more adoring young admirerers, so they put that "song" on Side A and slapped Orange Colored Sky on the B side.  The record got a little bit of airplay, but listeners thought Burt was being sarcastic and demeaning toward his fans.  That was not Burt's intent at all; he actually thought people would want to buy a record that consisted solely of him reading letters from young girls singing his praises.  Here it is, but don't say I didn't warn you. This is really bad:

If you want to hear "Orange Colored Sky" the way it was supposed to sound, click here for the recording by Nat King Cole himself.  

There must have been something about that song that the Dynamic Duo found irresistible, because Adam West sang it in costume as Batman on The Hollywood Palace.   Adam West was the host of the show that week, and though it's worth staying to watch the entire hour (Remember when George Carlin had short hair, and midget acts were not yet verboten?) you can jump straight to the three minute mark if all you want is to watch Batman croon while knocking down villainous babes in Carnaby Street outfits.  Unlike Burt Ward, Adam West could sing very well, although there is still something odd about Batman singing while he's fighting: